The Foul Gawd™ makes his professional MMA debut.
A French national, born in what is today known as Burkina Faso, Cheick Guillaume Ouedraogo, known professionally as Cheick Kongo, started him Mixed Martial Arts in Amsterdam, Holland in 2001. Years from now historians, scholars, and perhaps even the leaders of all world religions will look back on this auspicious night, where Cheick Kongo graced the unwashed masses, allowing the world to watch one of world’s great masters, in the same linage as Pablo Picasso, James Joyce, and Johnan Sebastian Bach, ply his trade. Let us examine this event, for surely years from now accounts such as this will be compiled and bound into great volumes of history.
Early on, Kongo gets a takedown and at one point picks up Tete and slams him back down to the mat. It looks innocuous, but one assumes that the impact was much greater than the video shows, perhaps even enough to shatter a man’s spine, I’ve asked doctors to review the footage, but no one has gotten back to me, citing having more important things to do, although I’m unsure what exactly could be more important than this project.
Kongo goes to stand up from the guard and then Tete, the temerity of this motherfucker, throws an upkick at Kongo, a move that is CLEARLY ILLEGAL under the unified rules. To be fair, judging by how the ref handled the situation, it was probably legal, but what happened to a fair fight and gentlemanly combat? Where is the decorum?
After the standup, both fighters exchange strikes with Kongo getting the better of the exchanges. Kongo puts some strikes together and the ref jumps in and Tete gets a standing 8 count from the official.
Just as the fight is about to start up, Tete complains about an eye poke. HERE IT IS, THE BEGINING OF THIS BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY, THE FIRST FOUL OF CHEICK KONGO’S CAREER.
The fight eventually restarts after Tete clears his eye, the two exchange strikes again, eventually Kongo gets a takedown and after a bit of work on the ground, gets into full mount. From here, things start to break bad.
I’m unsure why the ref goes to stop the action here, perhaps Tete is complaining, unjustly, of some infraction that Kongo has committed, or maybe there is some rule regarding time spent on the ground. Regardless, neither fighter seems interested in heeding the ref’s warning. The ref goes to stop Kongo, but Kongo decides to throw a few more strikes after, which look, is it a foul, technically yes, but if Kongo doesn’t think the fight should be stood up then it shouldn’t be stood up. Tete, with a blatant regard for the rules that frankly makes me sick, throws a strike at Kongo as he is standing up. This is the sort of disregard for the rules that gives MMA a bad name, and if it were up to me Tete would have been thrown out of the sport for life.
The fight restarts on the feet, and Kongo gets another takedown and eventually, elicits a submission from Tete
If you check out Sherdog, Tapology, or Wikipedia, they will tell you that this is where the fight ends, but that isn’t the case. Kongo’s corner clearly think he has won, they enter the ring and start to celebrate, but the ref, for some reason starts the fight over. I don’t balme him, obviously everyone in the building wants to see Cheick Kongo fight in perpetuity, and he is simply obliging the will of the people.
However, for some reason, the fight starts over again. Kongo proceeds to really take it to Tete on the feet and eventually stops him with a leg kick.
Unsurprisingly, Tete again complains of another eye poke. What a sore loser! What a baseless accusation against one of MMA’s greatest sportsmen.
And so ends the first professional Mixed Martial Arts contest of Cheick Kongo’s career. On par with some of the greatest and monumental moments in history. I’ve asked NASA to convert this fight footage onto a golden DVD and shoot it into space. I’m still waiting on their reply.
Anyway, for those keeping score at home the running count stands at 2 eye pokes, 1 strike after the bell, and of course 1 win.
KANGO? KANGO? Talk about disrespectful.